Left Behind: A prayer

Tell me when the time we had slipped away. .

Lord, I feel so bad for everyone back home. As Chelsea(my roommate)'s father said, when someone leaves, it is the people you leave behind that feel it the most. I have been so busy with gymnastics, boys, and friends that I have hardly even thought to call my family.

But I do feel sad sometimes:

I felt it when I was leaving, driving out of Faulk county, watching familiar scenes fade away. When I was spending my last Sunday, afraid to find my uncle because of the tears I knew I could not control, fighting tears when I talked to Leanne(one of my best girlfriends), struggling to keep my emotions in check when I looked at Bob(my now-ex boyfriend)’s moist eyes.

I felt it when tears moistened my mothers eyes, when my father's confidant voice exuded deep concern and care, when my sisters hugged me goodbye with tears steaming down their face.

I feel it when I miss one of their soccer games, and I realize I never taught them to use the camera. I feel it when they have to ride their bikes home from school because I am not there to drive them. I feel it when my mother hurts her ankle, when my brother may have a serious heart condition. I feel it when my dog is limping, and I’m not there.

I feel it when I know my grandmother may not be alive when I return. I feel it when my grandfather is diagnosed with fatal cancer. I feel it when my family can barely make it home with the gas they have because they spent the money buying supplies for my room.

But most of all, I feel it when I realize I have been to busy to notice, to busy to care about those who care about me the most.

~AB

"I thank my God every time I remember you" Philippians 1:3-11

Heart pulled Apart: Relationships

I think it is a fact of life that all college freshman girls will be hit on numerous times during their first few weeks at school.

Call me silly, but I don't like it. To tell the truth, it even scares me a little. When I was in Tokyo, I had Joe and Ben to scare the guys away. At home, I have a very caring father and uncle who would do anything for me. They would scare away guys that I am not interested in, or that are being to pushy. Here, I feel like I have no one. These guys on my team, they are supposed to be my defenders, I wanted them as friends, as brothers! Instead, they want to go on dates!

I am just a simple, naive girl. I am not opposed to the idea of dating, I am simply easily scared off. (One guy was patient enough in high school, but unfortunately things did not work out for us). I considered Josh Harris's view in I Kissed Dating Goodbye, but I disagree with his conclusions. Feel free to disagree in the comments :)

Regardless, All this attention forces me to reconsider the importance of my faith. Would it be detrimental to my faith to date a respectful man casually that shares my values but not my beliefs? I have thought and prayed about it, and as much as some of these guys are genuinely good men, I don't think I can ever date someone that does not genuinely live their life for Christ (Do not yoke yourself with an unbeliever).

One of my friends shared a lovely quote with me: "A woman's heart should be so hidden in Christ, that a man should have to seek Him first to find her." What a beautiful thought! I pray that I will always seek first Christ's kingdom.

~AB

"Whatever happens, conduct yourselves in a manner worthy of the gospel of Christ".

Leaving Home

"Tell me when the time we had slipped away..."

How to say Goodbye, Michael W. Smith

Sunday: 12:00 PM

I am leaving for college in a few short hours. I never realized how hard it was going to be to say goodbye to everyone!

At church this morning I could barely keep from crying when I said goodbye to some of my closest friends. Bob and I both had tears in our eyes when we hugged each other goodbye. I will miss him a lot, even though I think we made the best decision. I cant even imagine how hard it will be to say goodbye to my family.

Sunday 11:00 PM

Well, I'm at college! The campus is soo pretty. I just said goodbye to my family, and yes I am crying...just a little. I am so excited for tomorrow. The reason I am on campus early is for the Gymnastic Team. I have been competing ever since I was little so I am excited that the school I am going to has a team (both men and women). I cant wait to meet everyone tomorrow. I have already met my RA and a lot of girls on my floor an everyone is so nice! I'll check in again soon!

~AB

Parting Paths

Jesus Christ never changes! He is the same yesterday, today, and forever. (Hebrews 13:8)

In Christ,

AB

Evreything I Own

"What would I give to be pure in heart..I'd give everything that I own" ~Jason Gray "Everything I Own"

I am a freshman in college, and I am going to be blogging my experiences as a Christian, very conservative, college student at a small, very secular, liberal campus! Will I change my values? Or will I stay true to them? Will I stay with my boyfriend, or will the distance prove to be to much? Will 'lightning up' be the admirable thing to do, or will be staying true to the standards of behavior I have always valued win out? Stay tuned. I plan to keep my identity anonymous, therefore I will reveal very little identifying information, and will change details in stories as necessary (without compromising the integrity of the encounter). Consequently, this will be a very honest and candid blog for parents to see what their children might struggle with at a secular college, Christian students to have someone that can identify with their daily decisions, and secular students to marvel at how real the decision to follow Christ is.

In Christ,

AB